mean kids

somehow i’ve become a middle school teacher in new york city. it’s surreal, it’s amazing, it’s hair-pulling, it’s frustrating, and it’s everything else in between.

so i’ll get to talking about the kids in my school, soon, for sure, no doubt. but the reason why i’m here right now, after such a long hiatus, is because i just had an interaction with a kid, who wasn’t one of mine, and it was just appalling how incredibly rude he was. on the bus, around 4:45 pm, heading home after a 50 hour week and a kid sits down next to me. he slightly brushed me with his backpack and turned to me and said, “sorry.” so i thought, oh what a nice young gentleman. i wonder where he goes to school, what his favorite subject is, who his favorite teachers are. he was eating sunflower seeds and the first one he put in his mouth and while still holding it with the thumb and pointer finger on his right hand, he cracked it open with his teeth and ate out the seed. he then took the shell and dropped it on the ground between his legs.

right off the bat i was a little perturbed, but honestly not surprised. i hate watching people do things like this but it’s new york city, everyone does it. but as the new leader of my school’s green team, i feel as though i’m now on this train to try and change not only new york city’s disgusting pollution habits but also their manners.

he then took a few seeds and put them all the way in his mouth, altogether. he chewed them all for a few seconds and it seemed as though he’d swallowed them. then just a minute later he put one more in his mouth and ate the seed out the way he had the first one. again, he dropped the shell on the floor of the bus below his feet.

based on our initial interaction where he calmly apologized for only gently brushing me with his backpack, i had made an assumption about him and thought it’d be alright to say something. so i turned to him and said, in a very considerate and calm voice, “hey, how would you like it if i did that in your car?”

what i received was a barrage of obscenity that was just incredible. how is it that young people, people who have hardly hit puberty, can be so pig-headed? like outrageously and genuinely rude? he said, “one, i don’t have a car. two, i wouldn’t care. three, i’m a kid. four, i can’t afford a car. five, don’t talk to me. six, you’re a stranger. seven, don’t talk to me. eight, don’t talk to me.” and he said it mean.

all the blood rushed to my face and my mouth dropped open. a few seconds after he looked away i turned to another nice looking younger gentleman, about 10 years old, and i asked him, “is that your brother?” he shook his head no. i made a face that said, good, good for you. a minute or two after that i said to the mean young man, “wow. you should really learn some manners.” he mumbled a few things and then he got off the bus at the next stop. i heard him knock on the window after getting off, probably to give me the finger, but i didn’t turn around. and then immediately, all i could feel was this rage, why the hell didn’t i put him in his place? i do it every single day at school, *teach* kids how to show respect, how to have manners. or did i miss the memo about us all now living in a world where those things aren’t necessary anymore? where the hell do we live? how is it possible that anyone thinks it’s okay to talk to someone that way?

sure, maybe i shouldn’t have said anything in the first place. but i was soft and caring in my question, not mean.

it’s just sad to learn that some kids are actually mean. i’m still enraged, but i feel like i should just use that to put more energy into my actual task at hand, which is doing everything i can to teach my kids about native americans and civil rights, and at the same time, teaching them respect and manners and the characteristics that will make them grow up to be smart, polite, and intelligent young men and women, ones that will then pass those things on to the young people that they help nurture and teach.

[yes, i do in fact have worse stories from some of my kids, but i’ve learned to take it in and cherish all the good experiences i have with the other ones to remember that that outweighs all the bad ones. but this kid? seriously? first of all, yes, stop f*cking trashing up our streets, our buses, our community. and second of all, learn some god damn manners.]